Meditation and Mental Health

My doctor suggested that I do a group on meditation. (The MBSR program).   I refused.   Later, my psychiatrist suggested exactly the same group. I said I'd think about it.   It took me months but I finally agreed to take the course.

I approached it with some trepidation.   I knew the psychiatrist running it and I was convinced that she didn't like me. In fact, I was convinced that she had years earlier lied to me in order to get me out of her client-list.   Moreover, I had been retreating into my shell-becoming virtually housebound for a few years at that point.  The whole idea of a group - any group - was pretty scary.  I didn't particularly want to meet another collection of strangers.   I didn't want to come to care about them and then hurt with them as they discussed the pain in their lives.   I had enough pain in my own life.

But, having said that I would try, I did give it wholehearted effort.   Much to my shock, it worked!   By that I do not mean that I am no longer depressed and my life is pain-free.   But having taken the course, I found myself more able to cope with challenges that came my way.

Next, of course, I wanted to know WHY it worked.   The program has been rigorously tested - there's no question that it has worked for many more people than just me.  I already knew about brain plasticity.   Basically, that means that (contrary to previous beliefs) the brain can change its structure and function even late in life.   But what did that have to do with sitting and watching myself breathe?

 I think that I have figured it out.   In part, the mindfulness training encourages you to come off auto-pilot and become aware of what you are doing in this very instant.  That is immeasurably useful in catching the sort of self-talk that can pull me down into depression.   But there's more to it.   The meditation It was taught generally required me to focus my attention on something-often my breathing. Inevitably, I would get distracted. The advice was simply to notice that I had become distracted and to bring my attention back to the breathing.   Originally, I had thought that the goal was to be able to keep my attention focussed on my breathing. But I found that the real goal was to practice noticing when you've gotten distracted and to practice bringing your attention back to where you want it.   So that means that I can catch myself when I start drifting into a train of thought that leads to depression AND I have trained my brain to allow me to repeatedly pull myself out of that train of thought every time I drift back to it.   Through practice, I have created pathways in my brain that let me easily redirect my attention at will.   Suddenly it makes so much sense.